Body image problems can definitely take a toll on relationships.
But usually, feeling better about yourself and your body can help resolve these problems, at least partially.
That isn’t the case for one woman who took to Reddit to talk about a marital issue she’s experiencing because she’s lost weight.
Her husband, who is overweight, appears to be jealous of her weight-loss success. He complains when she focuses on healthy eating, and reprimands her in front of their children for dieting.
The author of the post says she was overweight when she and her husband met. Now she’s 5’5” and 130 pounds, which gives her a body mass index of 22.
“[My] husband used to be rail thin in his youth and very proud of that,” the woman wrote. “[A]s he aged he has become overweight and he kind of compensates his frustration about that by being absolutely ANTI diet, anti healthy food and exercise, to the point of ridiculousness. He acts like salad is poison and doesn’t want me talking to the children about eating veggies like that will give them an eating disorder.”
The problem has affected the couple’s intimacy. “Don’t even ask about our love life,” she wrote. “The last time I even tried to snuggle up to him while watching TV he pulled a disgusted face and mumbled something about ‘bones.’”
She added, “I miss physical contact to another person so, so much.”
The Reddit user said her husband had shamed her for her eating habits just that very morning. “He gave me a talking to in front of the kids, and ended with, ‘You’ve become the opposite of everything…The opposite of the woman I married,’” she wrote. “I feel so ashamed all the time, cutting up my veggies alone when he cannot see me, secretly snacking on carrots because I don’t want to be judged for what I eat.”
She’s worried the strain could permanently end her relationship with her husband, and is asking for advice from fellow Reddit users on how to handle the situation.
Fortunately, it sounds like she’s determined to hold her ground and stick up for herself. At the bottom of her post, the woman wrote, “I want to stop this development, be a better wife, help him deal with the situation. But he won’t decide what I put into my mouth, ever.”